Sic Transit…

Sic Transit…

I love driving round in a Transit. There’s something manly about it. I know I’m not alone in this. My mate was doing an exhibition last week and had a Transit to move his stand. He was booted and suited but didn’t feel out of place in the van. It’s always just the thing. It might be white and slightly battered round the edges. It’s almost certainly not owned by the man behind the wheel and it’s usually driven like it’s on its way from a bank job but it’s still pretty much the greatest thing on the road.

There are exceptions and I saw one of them today. You can buy an abomination called a Transit SportVan. The one I saw was blue rather than the red one in the photo above. It had racing stripes, big alloys and was moving even more quickly in the outside lane of the A1(M) than Transits usually do. I’ve had a wee rant about inappropriate sportiness before and this is an even more egregious example than the rev counter in an Aygo I was mithering on about last time. Transits aren’t sporty. They can be ludicrously and intimidatingly fast especially when they’re 18″ from your back bumper. That’s still not sporty.

Transits should have a few dented panels and a copy of  The Sun plonked on the dash. They shouldn’t look like a refugee from a drive-by at Halford’s. Unless it’s Supervan. If you’re basically a van body tied onto a racing car chassis, normal rules just don’t apply to you. That’s one sick Transit.

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