Four Rings, Two Bell-Ends

Four Rings, Two Bell-Ends

Audi A1I saw my first Audi A1 on the road yesterday. It was beautiful. Seriously. It has a wonderful stance on the road; it’s planted, four-square behind the four rings on its nose. This one was white, had the LED lights at the front and rear which were surprisingly subtle. The surfacing gave it just the right amount of tension, like an athlete who eats cake and can still run 400m in 45 seconds.

It reminded me of the first time I saw an A5 coupe out and about. The LEDs twinkled and the body of the car in motion sat just so. It truly was breathtaking. There is nothing like a handsome, new car moving through traffic to draw the eye. Sadly, while I really admire the looks of these Audis what they had most in common was that they were both being driven by complete tossers.

In each case, the drivers of these wonderfully crafted cars cut me up so badly I was only able to continue after a prolonged and profound bout of vile language. And in each case, the knob-end behind the wheel vanished into the flow of traffic with no apparent awareness of the accident he had narrowly avoided. I’m not going to subscribe to the “all Audi drivers are cocks” school of thought. I will say though that if the first A7 I see is driven with the same lack of regard as the first A1 and A5, I might recommend that Audi early adopters should be followed by traffic policemen at all times just in case they do something more than usually bell-ended.

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