Author Archives: admin
Noisy Rhino Sex
I know I haven’t been around for a while. I’d apologise but I wouldn’t mean it so instead I’ll just pretend it’s only been a couple of days since my last post. I’ve been thinking about what a rhino would sound like if you put it in a suit of armour and then had another …
Dark Matters
Looks like an M5, drinks likes something very unlike an M5 indeed The M5 is something of a holy object for the Church of Petrol. Even the new F10, which has a turbocharged V8 instead of the soaring, naturally-aspirated V10 of the E60 version, is venerated and blessed with super unleaded. It has five hundred …
The Rotties 2012
In line with everyone else at this time of year, I’m going to be handing out awards to my favourite cars. The Rotties have to be the least prestigious awards in the automotive world and I can’t imagine that terribly many Rottie laureates are going to be all that chuffed to be on the winners’ …
Fuck Me, It’s Orange!
I have documented my weakness for orange cars before in this blog, when I was talking about the McLaren MP4-12C. I think I might have mentioned it when the BMW M3 was up for discussion. I definitely talked about it in Men Are Weak which was mostly about kittens and breasts but mentioned the 1-Series …
An Inadvisable Spectacle
I was recently at Sytner’s BMW dealership in Nottingham. I was doing my usual thing of wandering around, daydreaming uselessly. Dealership staff must be used to people like me who stroll around. I try to take up as little of their time as possible in case a real prospect should come in. I’d hate someone …
The Predictable M5 Post
This could be another in the occasional Things I Like series. I like the M5. I have always liked the M5. I liked the M635CSi which was the first rendition of the M-car for the masses. The M1 was too rare and exotic and nothing like a practical day-to-day proposition. The M635CSi used the M1′s …
The Consolations Of Philosophy
According to Siobhan Ni, the philosopher William Godwin conceived of a “a politically and socially reformed society populated by a people who had perfected their rational minds to the point where the mental process had gained supremacy over physiological nature.” I’m not at all sure of the mental processes involved in the creation of the …
They Think It’s All Over – It Is Now
A scant few years ago, Honda sold its exciting range of revvy, racy Type-R cars. There was an Accord for the saloonatics. An Integra might better suit those who wanted a coupe. The really rather special NSX Type-R wasn’t imported into the UK. One example was brought over and touted round the magazines. It even …
Try Talking About Anything Else Today
I was going to write a very interesting post about Moskvitches, GAZes and Ladas today. There is lots to say about the role of class analogues in Soviet society. It was riveting. Then I saw this. Jaguar, you completely screwed up my carefully planned, closely argued post and I hate you, you bunch of bastards. …
Just A Little Panda-Eyed
When I was a very much younger man than I am now the Fiat dealer in Edinburgh regularly advertised very low deposit deals on Unos and Pandas. Every night there would be an advert for Unos costing £3,499 and Pandas at £2,999. I think they were asking for £99 deposit and thirty quid a month …